Dear Who?

I was sat with my two best friends - Tanya and Alice - at Tanya's dining table. It was Friday morning and we were sat eating Toasties and nattering as we tend to do. I don't see Tanya as often these days as she is happily married and has wee baby Ben. But when we do get together we talk far too much. Anyway, Tanya and I got to talking about our operations this year. She had a C-section with Ben and I my Thyroid removal. Both were a little horrific in their own ways. But I realised how much it helped me to talk about it.

So this blog is to become my new Journal and a record of my thoughts, adventures and daily mundanes...Enjoy!

Be careful what you pray for!

At the end of last year I mentioned in some of my prayers "Please let me find a friend". After coming home from my mission I missed having a companion! That person who is there with you all the time and working for the same things you are. I wanted that again and especially with Alice P leaving on her mission at Christmas time. Well, Heavenly Father hears our prayers and sent Angi, Jelly, Angelica Alston my way! Yes that little ball of fun!

Well here are some of our adventures that we have had in our past three months of friendship (a year today!)

Our night out with moustaches

Jump Nation Trampoline fun!

Climbing Mount Snowdon

 With the MTC came our foursome. Miriam, Maria, Angi and I. I love them all! Before Miriam went home to Germany we wanted to fulfill some of our bucket lists :) So we dressed up and went out for dinner with moustaches. As per my love of Gingers I was the only one with a ginger moustache :) we got some good laughs out of Mark our waiter. We had movie nights, shopping sprees, dinners out, and then climbed Mt Snowden!

3D Cinema...Spat and snowed on in Ice age (Alton towers)

 Angi likes to make things happen in her life and in mine! I decided at the start of 2015 that this would be a fantastic year! Angi has helped make that so. Another sneaky plan of ours was Alton towers. We rode rollercoasters until we felt dizzy! But it was amazing. 13 loop-the-loops started the day off well! How brave are we!!

The strange and pointless Charlie and the Chocolate Factory experience

Sunday afternoon walk in Astley park - attack of the Goose!

We went to the Circus! "Bum, bum, bum"

Scrabble and pancakes. Jordan our dear oddball

Another friend we have gained along our way is Jordan love. He is so funny! Jordan was in our trio companionship when we trained in the MTC and we like to stick together since. Last night was one of our fun moments where Jordan decided to decorate his face with Nutella from the pancakes. Oh and  accidentally cheated at Scrabble!

In conclusion to this random post...I love my friends. Friends are the essence of my life and I am very grateful for them. I couldnt imagine in the middle of last year the blessed state I would be enjoying now!

My wee missionaries...

Teach me so much. This week I have come to a realisation. We need to be kind! We each have weaknesses. Heavenly Father tells us He gives us weakness for a reason. Each person knows their flaws. We tend to know what we are bad at. We remind ourselves of it; sometimes beating ourselves up for not being good enough. We look at others with the "I wish I was more like..." attitude. So be kind. I have had a couple of Elders I have found challenging in the start. On the surface they seemed rebellious and in my weak nature I have judged them for that. Each time I have been woken to the stark reality that they know better than I their struggles and shortcomings. They feel them keenly especially under the mantle of being a missionary. So who am I to sit and judge them. My role then is just to love them. There is no such thing as too much love. CHARITY NEVER FAILETH. If I truly love others and pray for them I will help them to become better version of themselves but will love them wherever along the path they are. 

As was said in Conference: "A Saint is a sinner who keeps on trying" Elder Dale G Renlund. So let us let each other keep trying. In fact let us lift their load and help them with a smile, compliment, encouragement or active encouragement. People are worth it. They were worth Christ's incomparable suffering and dying and so they are worth my time, effort and kindness. 

*******

My dear Inta loved this image of Jesus Christ holding the lamb. She would look at it and exclaim how she wanted to be that Lamb! So safe and at peace in His loving arms. I had never seen this picture in this way before. As my Elders taught me (as Inta) they spoke of this image and asked me as I felt as I looked at it. In my minds eye I could see Christ as the shepherd protecting his flock; his Lamb from the ravening wolves that encroached. He would protect his beloved sheep with his arms, his body as a shield. He would give his life if needed.  Christ truly is our shepherd. I could see him stood much like in this image as the wolves attacked. His only focus was this lamb. His love and motivation. All he wanted was for them to be ok, to be saved. For this he could give all that was needed. Perhaps to anyone else this would make little sense. But to me I understood just a little better the suffering of my Saviour and why he did it. In affect I was reawakened to how important I am to him.

He is Risen! He is Risen!

I am so grateful for my knowledge of Jesus Christ. I have been raised knowing that Christ is real and that the correct and happy road is to follow Him. This is something that has seemed so real to me - what is blessing!

 

 

Greg Olsen's Jerusalem

Like a great big puzzle I have been adding little piece by little piece to my understanding of Jesus Christ and all He has done for me. My Dads favourite image of him is this (above). It has been on my mind today. Jesus loved us so much! He knew us well and cared to offer himself as a sacrifice. As he prepared in his final days for what was to come he weeped over the sins of those he was to redeem. He weeped that they could not see him for who he was - and in rejecting him were rejecting his beloved Father in Heaven. In this picture my dad would tell me, Jesus was readying himself, for this moment. The task and very purpose for which he had come to the earth. At the point when the weight of the sins of me, and everyone who would ever live bore down on him he asked the Father to let the cup pass from him. Love. Love is what allowed him to go through with it. "we love him because he first loved us".

I know this is not just a story but the greatest act ever perfomed. Because of the Atonement I can be saved. I can be happy. I can change. Because of Him: everything is possible.

So, I stand all amazed. And I will try never to forget what was done for me!

The Lamb of God!

I have loved the whole experience of being in the Lamb of God.

Before my operation last year, Andrew warned me that I would not longer be able to sing. This was only a small worry at the time as there was also a risk I would lose my voice completely if the cancer had spread to my vocal chords. Even months after the surgery I still could not sing. I had a normal speaking voice but when I would try to sing I would croak or squeak. This was quite funny for the most parts! I am pretty stubborn and I love to sing and so in Sacrament meetings at church Mum would be shocked to hear strange noises (all coming from my feeble attempts to join in a Hymn!)

I remember sitting at the wedding of Rebecca Wild and Dan Dudley. I was so happy they were getting married but as I struggled to sing I got upset. It was frustrating to me to no longer be able to do something I loved. 

Of course I realised that I had been blessed in many ways. My health was great and I had every other faculty. I sometimes would pray silently that one day I might sing again. I promised that if I could regain my voice I would use it more.

Second practice in Birmingham

 Well, soon my voice began to return. And soon after that they announced the Lamb of God auditions. I wasn't so sure anymore I wanted to use my voice in public! But I had promised and so I took the challenge. Auditioning was one of the hardest things I have done! I was so nervous! But Megan and Ally were so kind and put me at ease. And I made it!

"His Eye is on the Sparrow" I love this song and sang it often on my mission

The rehearsals have been amazing although tiring. We rehearse once in each month on a Saturday and from 10.30am-5.30pm. It is a long day! But...so worth it! Today was one of our last rehearsals. It was my first with the Orchestra present. It was one of the best moments of my life. Being in the middle of a group creating such beauty! As the Orchestra played one of the finale pieces I felt encircled by the music. The tones from the brass instruments were so warm they surrounded me and I closed my eyes for a moment to just feel the power of emotion that Rob Gardner and our choir can produce! I am so proud to be a part of this! Watch this space for the performance!

Mothers Day

With another mothers day upon us I have been reflecting on Love and what is really is. In this world today of Fifty Shades of Grey and Twilight, Love has been entangled and tainted with ideas of lust, jealousy, and mostly Sex. Nicholas Sparks would have love and sex be the same thing while the simultaneously the world would consider both as having a one night lifetime. How sick I get of living in this mist sometimes. 

"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken."

President Gordon B Hinckley likened love the the North star: constant and true. And so it is. I delight in the family I have been blessed with which shows to me True love. My Father and Mother. Little did I think on it, until I was away from home for nineteen months. Once in twenty three years had I seen my parents fight. I had no reason to believe they ever fought when not in our presence. Often did I see the attentions of Dad to Mum and been confident in his deep love for her. Always had they confided and relied whole heartedly on one another. We never had a busy or social home. Home was always a quiet refuge just for the Family. Mum and Dad only needed each other. They were different in some ways but similar in the most important. And tied together always with deep love and affection. 

Ashleigh, Me, Nana Edna, Mum (Three Generations!)

And then there is Nana and Grandad Mills. Together for over 50 years they were going strong until the end. Nana had nursed Grandad through life for much of their time together with his rare illness. She nursed her children and we her grandchildren too. As it came to the end and Nana could no longer get out of bed she would be upset at not being able to help the people she thought needed her. Grand too, loving always. He made everyone feel welcome and constantly sought to serve. He would dance me around his living room and put my name into all his old songs. He would sit for hours watching our old movies with me and not even complain when I would prefer a musical over his war films. How they loved each other! How they loved us!

So where did this love come from? It comes from Heavenly Father. They built their foundations on a love of God and put others before themselves. So the love..."the fancy or feeling" built and became deep and abiding just as the Love of Christ. It is this love I seek. I will settle for no less. Because - I already have it!

Mum and I at the Preston Temple